When you plan for a baby, a lot of ideas and thoughts go through your mind. You start planning for a possible future. Then when you realize a baby isn't coming as soon as you had hoped, you start to see others use your ideas. Now just to clarify, I am not mad at any of the people in the following situations. It's just hard. Hard to see others actually seeing your dreams become their reality. So I'm not here to cause any offense. Just merely to vent. I found that the thing that has helped me get through this is reading about other people's experiences, and how they've dealt with it. Maybe by writing about how I feel, someone else in a similar situation may realize that the way they are feeling isn't so out of the ordinary, no matter how irrational it may seem. And believe me....I know that the way I feel at times is not rational. So here are a couple examples to point out how irrational and petty I feel.
1. Names: My husband had a teacher growing up, who also happened to be best friends with his dad. This man was like a second father to him. Sadly, this teacher ended up passing away while my husband was serving as a missionary in Virginia for two years. In the many conversations that we've had for naming our hopefully, someday future children, we decided that if a boy ever happened along, that we'd like the name Colin Richard, his teacher's middle name and my father's name. Well, my cousin and his girlfriend had a baby boy a few months ago, and low and behold, they name him Collin Randall, Randall being my uncle's name, and being way too close to our name idea. Now I am not close to my cousin, in fact, I only saw him a couple years ago at a wedding, and before that it was many years since we've seen each other. But it's hard when all your family is connected via facebook and the current Collin's pictures are being posted constantly. No one is to blame for this. My cousin didn't steal the name from me, he and his girlfriend had no idea. I shouldn't worry about so much about what others would think, especially because, well....this is all hypothetical anyway. Who knows if we will even be able to have children, and if we do, if we'll even have a boy?
2.Baby Shower: I've told my mom about this idea for a few years now. I thought that when we are pregnant and are planning a baby shower, that I would not reveal the gender of the baby, and have my baby shower themed around revealing the gender. My sister is about to have her first. Although she has told family what the baby is, she isn't telling others until...you guessed it...her baby shower. Now her shower is a little different than what I've planned. It's mainly for friends, where my thoughts were to have both family and friends, and then she will have another shower after the gender is revealed. I don't know if she's heard about the idea from me or my mom, or if it was just something she came up with on her own. She's not the type of person who tries to step on others' toes for her own agenda. I'm not angry at her. Guess I'm just wishing it was me planning a baby shower.
Yes, they are petty. This is how I feel, and writing about it helps me to vent my frustrations. Thanks for listening and for trying to understand....
No comments:
Post a Comment